she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was CRYING into my vagina
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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