it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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