I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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