only you would photoshop your dick
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
