I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Houston, we have a blender
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
