as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize