Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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