Where is the hickey?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
