It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
