Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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