That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
