Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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