Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
