Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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