No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
