I didn't shave. On purpose
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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