I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
this is an emotional support booty call
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
