why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
