For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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