as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
