What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
