im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
