I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
