It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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