i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
