As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
