she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
