I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
