so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
