new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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