No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
