we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
