some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
