honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
