so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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