he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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