So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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