Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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