Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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