nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
