all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
