can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
