OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
