On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
