At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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