You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
