you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
