i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize