I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
