I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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