i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
