how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
