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• (914): View more from New York

  i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life

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• (315): View more from New York

  You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I know, you made me proof read it.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?

  Fav 0 38 31

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