Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
