I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
