discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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