Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This baby is an asshole
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
