I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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