Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
