Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
