Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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