Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
