We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
