Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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